But whatever, it’s my blog.

So, we’re moving. Don’t know where, only sort of know when, but I still have to start purging toys and clothes and looking around for boxes large enough to haul 3 people’s lives to wherever it is we’re going. The dear husband is still in California, learning to be the world’s best recruiter. He is reminded every day why he hated high school, but I have total faith that he’ll do great. He always does

The one who asks why is in preschool and absolutely loving it. He is spelling, reading, writing and BURNING ENERGY. He was invited to his first class birthday party. It appears to be a Justin Bieber theme – I will do my best to hold my tongue and not be “that mom”.

The one who must be obeyed is turning into quite the little man. He can now climb out of his crib and unlock the front door. Soooooooo that sucks.

I’m just trying to keep up with it all. Work is great, I will be sad to leave my coworkers but I’m hoping to transfer to another job with the same company wherever we go. And speaking of shameless plugs, visit Scentsy.com/sarahmonday to contribute to my cruise fund.

Peace y’all.

Christmas.

nimrod.  hi boys and girls!  books about farting pigs.

fishing.  beer.  beer and fishing.  beer and fishing and I still can’t navigate the channel.

escaping this damn war unscathed.

shoes for my baby boy.

a grandfather for my baby boy.

I never hated anyone in my life.  you took that from me too.

I hate you.

Sunday afternoon, my saint of a mother broke her finger trying to lift my huge outdoor trashcan to empty it into the dumpster.  Did she go to the ER?  Of course not.

Monday we didn’t leave town until 2:00 in the afternoon, instead of 10:00 in the morning as we had planned.  Made it to Flagstaff instead of Albuquerque, but there was snow! Slushy, dirty, days-old snow, but snow either way.  I broke my toe getting out of bed in the middle of the night, and did something to the muscles on the inside of my foot.  Did I go to the ER?  Of course not, and I still haven’t!

Wednesday morning my saint of a mother came up from walking the dogs to tell me that Knucklehead (big dog) had taken a chunk out of Stupidface’s (little dog) eye.  Stupidface has a pretty honkin’ noggin, and his eye was swollen to nearly the size of that honkin’ noggin.  So we hauled ass to our dear friends in Oklahoma City, and Mr. Bill graciously took me and Stupidface to the emergency vet at 9:00 at night.  Just my opinion, the cost of animal healthcare needs reform too.

Friday afternoon Stupidface locked the baby in the truck.

Hell.  Defined.

I also lopped off nearly a foot of hair.  Usually when I do something so drastic I feel awful about it the next day, but 3 days later I still love it.  Is it really possible for a haircut to change your life?  The cut is just perfect for me.  I throw some gel in it, scrunch a bit and I’m out the door.  It’s hard to feel pretty when your hair is always in a ponytail and you never wear any makeup because there’s never any time to bother… it’s so nice to be able to do my hair and feel put together!

On another note, we had a sizable earthquake today.  The news outlets are reporting that it was 20 miles below the surface in Mexico, so rather than shaking I just felt dizzy and nauseous.  The kids outside took no notice and HWMBO slept right through it.

I’m packing for our move eastward all by my lonesome, and it’s hard to believe I’ve ever complained that this house was too small.  Where did we get all this crap?  Do we really need all this crap?  How in the world am I going to pack up all this crap?  And where are my keys?

I worry about how our future moves will affect the kids.  Looking back I realize what an adventure it was, and how everywhere we lived was such a positive experience, but I also remember being 11 and having the whole world end when I left my friends, and then again at 13.  I was a silly hormonal girl though, maybe the boys won’t care quite as much as I did.

I think I may have packed my keys…

The dear husband has been gone for a week today – it feels like a year and it feels like an hour all at once.  For one week I have been trying to pack, trying to clean, trying to make our two little ones feel that nothing has changed even though Daddy’s gone to catch bad guys for a little while.  Trying not to sneeze on clean dishes, because there’s just me to wash them again.  Trying to remember everything I need at the Commissary because I had to bring the kids with me instead of leaving them at home with their father and the baby tore up the list on the ride there.

Trying, trying, trying… Trying to keep it together, because if I lose it then who is there to bring it back together?  It’s just me.

Anyway.

Day two was an adventure in hair-pulling, and by hair-pulling I mean I nearly lost all my hair from repeating that “hands slapped to face and swept over the top of the head” move you do when you thought nothing else could go wrong until now.  I have a feeling there will be a lot of “Day Twos” in the coming year.

My beloved Blackberry went on strike, leaving me with no way to hear from the deployed husband save for the email account he never uses.  Spent $50 replacing it, but mad props to the Asurion Corporation for giving me free next-day shipping without forcing me to play the deployed husband card.  The youngins have begun acting out since Daddy is gone (throwing a football at the dog’s food bowl, for example), and they can pick up on how stressed out I am – “You drink lotsa coffee!”  Yeah, and if it weren’t for you rotten kids I’d be drinking lots of liquor.  (I kid, they’re not rotten.  Well, they’re a little rotten, but that’s because I’m a big fat pushover who likes candy and new toys.)

I learned the hard way that if you try and inflate a kid’s bike tire with Fix-A-Flat it will explode and get gooey foam all over your garage and scare the bejeezus out of the neighbor.  I learned that if an infant has even just a few sips of coffee from the travel mug left in the diaper bag on the floor he will be up ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

But I also learned just how much these kids really love their daddy.  It’s incredibly aggravating to have to explain why he’s not here oooover and oooover and oooover again, but then at the end of the day when I put on the DVD of him reading books and The One Who Asks Why’s face literally brightens I almost forget how hard these next few months are going to be.

That is, until the next morning when I let the dogs out and realize they’ve chewed another belt.  Ah, day two.